When you talk to and listen to someone, do you look him or her in the eye? Fifty percent of people say they don’t, focusing on the other person’s mouth or nose or anywhere but the eyes. Why? According to the book “The Human Face,” we hold each other’s gaze for about three seconds at a time. Any longer makes both parties uncomfortable. Is it too intimate? Flirtatious? Or just attentive? Depends on who you are conversing with. In any case, if you want to really connect with someone, go eye to eye.
Notice in the movies that couples in romantic scenes do it all the time. However, ”The Human Face” says prolonged eye contact indicates that one of two things is about to happen–the two people are either about to make love…or fight!
What sort of impression do you get from someone who slouches in his or her chair and seems to make no effort to stand up straight? Think about that, and then be aware of your own posture.
If you Google “good posture,” you will be amazed at how important it is for your back, your neck, your circulation, your joints, your lungs, and your overall health. Carrying yourself well and sitting properly also conveys a lot about you: your attitude, self-confidence, energy, and enthusiasm. Good posture allows you to think better and speak more clearly. It makes your breasts (f) or pectorals (m) look bigger and your stomach flatter. And it makes you look taller. (If you are a tall girl, you look weird if you try to hide it. Be proud of your height.)
Don’t overdo it, or you will look like someone stuck a pole up your butt. Learn more at Good Posture.
Lower photo: WCPL upper photo: whitneyudh
If just thinking about exercising makes you sleepy or slightly ill, force yourself to do something, even the minimum, like a brisk walk around the block. You won’t lose weight, but you will be glad you did it. Next time, walk two blocks. Still no pounds shed, but you will have a sense of accomplishment.
A study by the University of Florida as reported in the Journal of Health Psychology found that people who start exercising improve their body image, even though their thighs or muffin tops don’t diminish a single gram. In fact, men and women who do not exercise enough to meet the minimum for health benefits (considered 30 minutes a day, five days a week) experience the same psychological improvement as more athletic men and women. They feel good (angelic?) about making the effort.
I’m sure this is true, but at some point, I’ll bet there has to be some physical change or depression will set in. However, they should keep in mind that exercise has benefits beyond weight loss. Try it. Do anything, even if it is just five minutes twice a week. And no fries with that.
photo by crayzeee
Years ago, as the head of the PR department for a large corporation, I had a woman on my staff who was smart, pleasant and capable. She was also obese, had long greasy hair, did not wear make up, and had body odor. One day she asked me why I never sent her on business trips. I closed the door and reminded her that our PR department represented the company, which sold personal care products! We had a talk about first impressions. She explained she had financial problems, uncontrollable weight, and too many family members using one bathroom. I sympathized, but told her that even her fellow employees would respect her more if made some improvements and displayed more self-respect. It was a painful discussion.
She cut her hair short and started wearing make-up and nail polish. She bought a new outfit. That was about the best she could do, but she tried, and I believe it made a difference. Nevertheless, I think she resented my candor with her, and the fact that I never did send her on a business trip.
I still believe I did the right thing. What do you think?
Halloween is a fun day to dress up like somebody or something other than who you are. The options abound, but it seems boys who really want get into the true ghoulish spirit of Halloween choose to be monsters or freaks, whereas girls opt to be princesses or beauty queens, even at adult costume parties. You will see an occasional Superman, but more likely the Incredible Hulk. Or a fireman, but more often something like a burn victim. Among the girls there can be wicked witches, but they are definitely in the minority. I scanned a couple hundred stock photos of people in costumes, only to find plenty of evidence that supports my assumption.
