CNN reports that www.beautifulpeople.com, an international dating site that accepts members based entirely on their looks, axed about 5,000 members because they gained weight over the holidays. This has to be a publicity stunt to create awareness of the site and attract more members. How did they know that members gained weight in just a week or two? Do members post updated full-bodied photos every month? Maybe that’s a requirement. I can’t find out because the website says it is temporarily closed to visitors. Could be another stunt, forcing people to apply before they can see all the pretty faces and buff bodies.
The managing director says that the site is elitest and “lookist” and politically inncorrect because the members want it to be. Well, if they want to eliminate members who gain weight or lose their perfect looks, turnover must be high. Sooner or later, everyone gains weight, losses hair, develops wrinkles, or turns…well, a certain age. I wonder how many of the wholesome and decent-looking people pictured below would not qualify?
photos from flickr
The best way to build self-esteem is to say kind things to yourself every day. This advice comes from Suzanne E. Harrill, author of “Empowering teens to build self-esteem.” Her book has pages of affirmations (positive thoughts) that you can say to yourself, whether you are a teenagers or an adult.
Actually, her advice is not new. About 90 years ago, one of the first proponents of a positive mental attitude (PMA) suggested saying to yourself, “Each and every day, I get better and better in every way.” It must work. Most self-help programs throughout the ages (decades, anyway) require PMA. It sures beats saying “I’m a loser” each morning.
Maybe it’s not as effective as having other people tell you how great you are, but no one can rely on praise from others. Don’t you love it when someone compliments you? Embarrassing sometimes, but welcome. So why not be generous and genuine about complimenting people you know deserve it? Too often, we think positive things about friends and family members but don’t tell them. Many of Suzanne Harrill’s affirmations can be directed to others as well as yourself.
If just thinking about exercising makes you sleepy or slightly ill, force yourself to do something, even the minimum, like a brisk walk around the block. You won’t lose weight, but you will be glad you did it. Next time, walk two blocks. Still no pounds shed, but you will have a sense of accomplishment.
A study by the University of Florida as reported in the Journal of Health Psychology found that people who start exercising improve their body image, even though their thighs or muffin tops don’t diminish a single gram. In fact, men and women who do not exercise enough to meet the minimum for health benefits (considered 30 minutes a day, five days a week) experience the same psychological improvement as more athletic men and women. They feel good (angelic?) about making the effort.
I’m sure this is true, but at some point, I’ll bet there has to be some physical change or depression will set in. However, they should keep in mind that exercise has benefits beyond weight loss. Try it. Do anything, even if it is just five minutes twice a week. And no fries with that.
photo by crayzeee
If you looked this good, you would think you could get any man…and keep him. Okay, maybe Tiger is an indulgent sleaze who feels he is entitled to more than one outrageously gorgeous woman, or maybe Elin’s bikini picture was taken before her two babies. Yet, she still scores higher in the Babe-o-Meter than all of Tiger’s alleged post-marriage partners. I’m not going to speculate because too much has been said already, but the point is, beauty alone is not enough to keep some men loyal, loving, and respectful.
And marrying a rich celebrity doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. Don’t we all know this by now?
photos by Betusgirls
Scott Rosen was born with a deformed left foot that didn’t grow as the rest of his body did. Other kids made fun of him, and he couldn’t participate in sports. He had opportunities to go to a summer camp that didn’t focus on athletics, but he was afraid, and stayed home. Finally, at age 13, which is old for a first-time camper, he decided to go.
During the get-to-know-you session, something compelled him to announce that his left foot was four sizes smaller than his right foot. After a moment of silence, one camper asked if they could see it. To his surprise, they thought it was fascinating, even cool. It made him special, not odd.
“I came out of my shell and became comfortable with who I was,” Scott says. “I developed a level of self-esteem and self-confidence.”
The story gets better. He continued to spend summers at the camp, becoming a counselor and eventually working with the campers who had developmental disorders. He helped develop a vocational program for older kids with special needs. It inspired him to get a degree in special education, which he now teaches at a high school in St. Louis. During the summers, he is still involved with the camp.
Making the decision to go to camp did more than influence his career choice. It was there that he met the girl who is now his wife and the mother of their two children.
Going to camp was a risk for him, but if he didn’t take the chance, Scott says he doesn’t know where he would be today.
People who tease, bully or ignore others because of their appearance should instead show compassion.
As difficult as it may seem, the people who are being teased, bullied or ignored should show compassion for their tormentors. Everyone–especially troublemakers–have troubles of their own, and if you knew what they were, you might understand their unkind behavior.
We all tend to be in our own worlds dealing with our own issues, but if we have compassion for others and let them know it, they appreciate it. Understanding, sympathizing and helping others can not only win their friendship, but reduce our concern for our own woes.
You don’t hear the word compassion very often. It’s the basis of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” You don’t hear the golden rule very often either, but quess what? It is the central principle of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. For some reason, organized religion isn’t getting the word across.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu and religious writer Karen Armstrong have launched a global call to action for individuals and nations to exercise compassion. Read The Charter for Compassion. It makes sense, but don’t wait for everyone else to get on board.
By we, I mean men and women. The reasons could fill a size 38D, but women are more concerned about breast size and shape than men are. According to a survey of 52,227 adults by UCLA and Cal State Los Angeles, 70 percent of women said they were dissatisfied with their breasts, whereas only 44 percent of men said they were dissatisfied with their partner’s breasts.
So what do women do about it? The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says breast augmentation is the most common cosmetic surgery procedure, estimating 300,000 a year. Considering the number of women in the country, that’s not very many. Most women prefer to remain natural. Learn more in Psychology Today.
However, millions of women wear padded bras or other intimate apparel (great euphemism) that accentuates their breasts. Very deceptive, I would say, but so what? If it makes women feel better about themselves, and it adds to men’s scenery, that’s no so bad. The few men who discover the truth aren’t going to care much, once they overcome the initial surprise. If they do make a fuss, they need to reassess what’s important to them.
In an effort to help women lighten up over their concerns, there is a new play called “The D-cup Diatribes” that addresses the advantages and disadvantages of breast size, enhancement and reduction, mother-daugher issues, and male marketing agendas.
Photo by Mystic Boer
New actress Gabourey Sidibe, star of the movie Precious, is an excellent example of a very large person who can look good because of the clothes she wears. The November 30 issue of Star magazine shows her wearing four classy outfits and, no, you smart-alecks, not all at the same time. She looks good in a print dress, a sequined tunic with leggings, a purple gown, and even wearing a plaid hoodie and short skirt. The article has a shot of her from the movie, and even though she is not poorly dressed, she looks much better in the other photos with the additional help of make-up, a better hairdo, and a great smile.
Photo credit: gdcgraphics
Years ago, as the head of the PR department for a large corporation, I had a woman on my staff who was smart, pleasant and capable. She was also obese, had long greasy hair, did not wear make up, and had body odor. One day she asked me why I never sent her on business trips. I closed the door and reminded her that our PR department represented the company, which sold personal care products! We had a talk about first impressions. She explained she had financial problems, uncontrollable weight, and too many family members using one bathroom. I sympathized, but told her that even her fellow employees would respect her more if made some improvements and displayed more self-respect. It was a painful discussion.
She cut her hair short and started wearing make-up and nail polish. She bought a new outfit. That was about the best she could do, but she tried, and I believe it made a difference. Nevertheless, I think she resented my candor with her, and the fact that I never did send her on a business trip.
I still believe I did the right thing. What do you think?
If you feel you are just average looking, you’re right at home with 66% of the population. Would you feel even better about yourself knowing that 17% of the population is either unattractive or very unattractive? Don’t feel terrible if you aren’t beautiful–only 2% of people are considered truly gorgeous. That leaves 15% who are categorized as very attractive, but they are still in the minority.
These statistics are from the book “Appearance Is Everything,” by Steve Jeffes. Despite the title, Jeffes writes that no matter what you look like, you will do well if you believe in yourself, maintain your self-worth, and work at achieving your goals. It’s true. Look around you; most people just go about their business.
Jeffes’ figure of 17% beautiful or very attractive is supported by a shallow dating site called Beautiful People. It only accepts handsome studs and cute babes, based on the votes of existing members viewing submitted photos. In October 2009, they accepted only 360,000 people out of 1,860,000 love-seeking applicants worldwide. That’s slightly more than 19%. Yet, apparently ALL 1,860,000 men and women felt they look great enough to be among the chosen.
Looks are subjective. I think everyone in this photo is average looking. Do you see a guy or girl you would place in a higher category?
Photo by m.a.x.
