It seems to me that the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, founded in 1969, has not been very effective. Most people are unaware that it exists. There have been periods in history when chunky girls were desirable, but for decades, thin has been in. You would think that acceptance of fat people would outweigh objections since the majority of Americans (68 percent) are overweight, and a third (33.8 percent) are considered obese. However, many of them don’t accept themselves the way they are–not just because of social pressure, but because of their own discomfort in clothes and tight spots like airplane seats, theaters, and booths in some of the places where they like to eat.
Now, with health care reform the issue of the day, we hear that billions of dollars are spent on health issues related to obesity. Add to that the natural preference most people have for for slim, healthy looking men and women, and the super-sized folks are frowned upon like smokers in an elevator. Many heavy people are smart, entertaining, hardworking, fun, kind,and pleasant to be with. They just have to overcome first impressions–and try to lose weight. Everyone knows how difficult that is to do, but it earns admiration and respect and builds self esteem.
Romantic comedies targeting 18-35 year-olds are invariably raunchy, sexy and overloaded with F-Bombs, but I find most of them hilarious and, more importantly, concluding with a important message that I hope isn’t lost in the muck of rudeness, incivility, and dysfunctional behavior. In “She’s Out of My League,” adorable Alice Eve develops a liking for Jay Baruchel who plays a scrawny quasi-nerd. His friends and annoying family reinforce his own belief that she is way too good for him. In the end, his cruelist friend becomes enlighted, discovering that a total babe like Alice can actually overcome Jay’s physical shortcomings and find him attractive because, well, he’s a really nice guy with a sense of humor and humanity.
It’s the ancient formula–boy wins girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back–but it’s refreshing to see his all his friends, family members and other uncouth clowns pleased that the two are meant for each other. I know that crassness of the movie is intentionally outrageous just to get a laugh, and much of it is funny, but if you try to duplicate it at home, you’re going to get smacked.
My wife and I just returned from a week in Mississippi, including four days in Oxford, home of the U. of Mississippi (Ole Miss). The state and the University are known for good looking girls and Miss America contestants, but looks aren’t everything–nor are they the only quality these young ladies possess. They smile broadly and say hello as they pass by. At restaurants and bars, they engaged us in long conversations with undivided attention, even when we were among the oldest people there. They speak with energy, enthusiasm and optimism. Most of them get dolled up on Friday and Saturday nights, no matter where they are going.
The young men are just as friendly, and oh so polite. When they enter a building, they check to see if someone is behind them and, if so, hold the door for them. They never say yeah, but yes sir, and yes ma-am. Their old-fashioned Southern hospitality and manners make a very positive impression.
hypersoccorfan
What sort of impression do you get from someone who slouches in his or her chair and seems to make no effort to stand up straight? Think about that, and then be aware of your own posture.
If you Google “good posture,” you will be amazed at how important it is for your back, your neck, your circulation, your joints, your lungs, and your overall health. Carrying yourself well and sitting properly also conveys a lot about you: your attitude, self-confidence, energy, and enthusiasm. Good posture allows you to think better and speak more clearly. It makes your breasts (f) or pectorals (m) look bigger and your stomach flatter. And it makes you look taller. (If you are a tall girl, you look weird if you try to hide it. Be proud of your height.)
Don’t overdo it, or you will look like someone stuck a pole up your butt. Learn more at Good Posture.
Lower photo: WCPL upper photo: whitneyudh
It seems to me that every kid has something going for him or her. Maybe not good looks, and maybe not brains, but some quality that eventually gets them somewhere in life. It might be an interest in books, a hobby, music, a sport, art, fashion, mechanics, computers, or any number of things. They pursue it, or a parent or teacher or a friend encourages them, and it leads to a career. Or they just fall into a profession.
Take Hugh Simpson. He was picked on from first grade through high school. He was chubby and wore nerdy glasses, but also annoyed other kids and teachers with his hyperactivity and incessant talking. Yet, it was his big mouth that launched his career.
He worked at a record store while in junior college, and the owner told him he had a good voice for radio. He applied for a job as a weekend disc jockey and was hired. Later they had him interview people for the news, including a TV newscaster who talked him into reading the news on TV. By then he wore contacts and looked the part, having lost 50 pounds during a bout with mono. He eventually became a TV producer and a successful publicist for businesses and celebrities.
Someone else helped change his life. A friend convinced him to take up running, a good way to deal with his hyperactivity. By the age of 42, the former fat kid was participating in triathlons.
Photo: Jouneythroughhappiness
CNN reports that www.beautifulpeople.com, an international dating site that accepts members based entirely on their looks, axed about 5,000 members because they gained weight over the holidays. This has to be a publicity stunt to create awareness of the site and attract more members. How did they know that members gained weight in just a week or two? Do members post updated full-bodied photos every month? Maybe that’s a requirement. I can’t find out because the website says it is temporarily closed to visitors. Could be another stunt, forcing people to apply before they can see all the pretty faces and buff bodies.
The managing director says that the site is elitest and “lookist” and politically inncorrect because the members want it to be. Well, if they want to eliminate members who gain weight or lose their perfect looks, turnover must be high. Sooner or later, everyone gains weight, losses hair, develops wrinkles, or turns…well, a certain age. I wonder how many of the wholesome and decent-looking people pictured below would not qualify?
photos from flickr
If you looked this good, you would think you could get any man…and keep him. Okay, maybe Tiger is an indulgent sleaze who feels he is entitled to more than one outrageously gorgeous woman, or maybe Elin’s bikini picture was taken before her two babies. Yet, she still scores higher in the Babe-o-Meter than all of Tiger’s alleged post-marriage partners. I’m not going to speculate because too much has been said already, but the point is, beauty alone is not enough to keep some men loyal, loving, and respectful.
And marrying a rich celebrity doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. Don’t we all know this by now?
photos by Betusgirls
Scott Rosen was born with a deformed left foot that didn’t grow as the rest of his body did. Other kids made fun of him, and he couldn’t participate in sports. He had opportunities to go to a summer camp that didn’t focus on athletics, but he was afraid, and stayed home. Finally, at age 13, which is old for a first-time camper, he decided to go.
During the get-to-know-you session, something compelled him to announce that his left foot was four sizes smaller than his right foot. After a moment of silence, one camper asked if they could see it. To his surprise, they thought it was fascinating, even cool. It made him special, not odd.
“I came out of my shell and became comfortable with who I was,” Scott says. “I developed a level of self-esteem and self-confidence.”
The story gets better. He continued to spend summers at the camp, becoming a counselor and eventually working with the campers who had developmental disorders. He helped develop a vocational program for older kids with special needs. It inspired him to get a degree in special education, which he now teaches at a high school in St. Louis. During the summers, he is still involved with the camp.
Making the decision to go to camp did more than influence his career choice. It was there that he met the girl who is now his wife and the mother of their two children.
Going to camp was a risk for him, but if he didn’t take the chance, Scott says he doesn’t know where he would be today.
Years ago, as the head of the PR department for a large corporation, I had a woman on my staff who was smart, pleasant and capable. She was also obese, had long greasy hair, did not wear make up, and had body odor. One day she asked me why I never sent her on business trips. I closed the door and reminded her that our PR department represented the company, which sold personal care products! We had a talk about first impressions. She explained she had financial problems, uncontrollable weight, and too many family members using one bathroom. I sympathized, but told her that even her fellow employees would respect her more if made some improvements and displayed more self-respect. It was a painful discussion.
She cut her hair short and started wearing make-up and nail polish. She bought a new outfit. That was about the best she could do, but she tried, and I believe it made a difference. Nevertheless, I think she resented my candor with her, and the fact that I never did send her on a business trip.
I still believe I did the right thing. What do you think?
Nothing makes a face look better than a smile. You don’t even need to invest in lipstick, especially if you are a guy. A smile reflects a pleasant disposition, and tells people you are happy to see them. I know that sometimes we just aren’t in the mood to smile. Then someone greets us with a friendly grin, and more often than not, we smile back. That person made us feel liked. So why not be the person who smiles first?
If you aren’t great looking, or wear braces, have large gums or bad teeth, smile anyway. It indicates that you aren’t self-conscious, and that’s admirable. A closed mouth smile is better than no smile, but you’re going to open your mouth anyway when you speak, so don’t worry about the glare from your braces or stares at the gaps between your teeth. Smile though your heart is breaking, as the song goes, and you’ll feel better.
Beautify people who rarely smile make themselves less attractive. Victorian Beckham comes to mind. Click her name to link to 50 photos of her, hardly any with a smile. Posh Spice looks like Pout Bites. She’s cute, and maybe she’s fun to be with, but her expression tells you the opposite. Your eyes go to her glued-on boobs, and without them, she has a toothpick figure. Maybe she’s a nice person, but she hides it behind her mannequin looks.
Another tip: When you smile at someone, look him or her right in the eye. It makes them feel connected to you.
