It seems to me that the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, founded in 1969, has not been very effective. Most people are unaware that it exists. There have been periods in history when chunky girls were desirable, but for decades, thin has been in. You would think that acceptance of fat people would outweigh objections since the majority of Americans (68 percent) are overweight, and a third (33.8 percent) are considered obese. However, many of them don’t accept themselves the way they are–not just because of social pressure, but because of their own discomfort in clothes and tight spots like airplane seats, theaters, and booths in some of the places where they like to eat.
Now, with health care reform the issue of the day, we hear that billions of dollars are spent on health issues related to obesity. Add to that the natural preference most people have for for slim, healthy looking men and women, and the super-sized folks are frowned upon like smokers in an elevator. Many heavy people are smart, entertaining, hardworking, fun, kind,and pleasant to be with. They just have to overcome first impressions–and try to lose weight. Everyone knows how difficult that is to do, but it earns admiration and respect and builds self esteem.
If you looked this good, you would think you could get any man…and keep him. Okay, maybe Tiger is an indulgent sleaze who feels he is entitled to more than one outrageously gorgeous woman, or maybe Elin’s bikini picture was taken before her two babies. Yet, she still scores higher in the Babe-o-Meter than all of Tiger’s alleged post-marriage partners. I’m not going to speculate because too much has been said already, but the point is, beauty alone is not enough to keep some men loyal, loving, and respectful.
And marrying a rich celebrity doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage. Don’t we all know this by now?
photos by Betusgirls
By we, I mean men and women. The reasons could fill a size 38D, but women are more concerned about breast size and shape than men are. According to a survey of 52,227 adults by UCLA and Cal State Los Angeles, 70 percent of women said they were dissatisfied with their breasts, whereas only 44 percent of men said they were dissatisfied with their partner’s breasts.
So what do women do about it? The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says breast augmentation is the most common cosmetic surgery procedure, estimating 300,000 a year. Considering the number of women in the country, that’s not very many. Most women prefer to remain natural. Learn more in Psychology Today.
However, millions of women wear padded bras or other intimate apparel (great euphemism) that accentuates their breasts. Very deceptive, I would say, but so what? If it makes women feel better about themselves, and it adds to men’s scenery, that’s no so bad. The few men who discover the truth aren’t going to care much, once they overcome the initial surprise. If they do make a fuss, they need to reassess what’s important to them.
In an effort to help women lighten up over their concerns, there is a new play called “The D-cup Diatribes” that addresses the advantages and disadvantages of breast size, enhancement and reduction, mother-daugher issues, and male marketing agendas.
Photo by Mystic Boer
Halloween is a fun day to dress up like somebody or something other than who you are. The options abound, but it seems boys who really want get into the true ghoulish spirit of Halloween choose to be monsters or freaks, whereas girls opt to be princesses or beauty queens, even at adult costume parties. You will see an occasional Superman, but more likely the Incredible Hulk. Or a fireman, but more often something like a burn victim. Among the girls there can be wicked witches, but they are definitely in the minority. I scanned a couple hundred stock photos of people in costumes, only to find plenty of evidence that supports my assumption.
Annie Fox is a former teacher who has dedicated herself to helping kids, tweens and teenagers enjoy their youth by dealing with the many issues they confront. On her website, www.anniefox.com, you can download one of her books, “The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating.” Regarding every young person’s concern about their looks, she advises, “Every time you have the urge to be self-critical about your face or body, remember your good points instead.”
I know it is hard for a guy to become confident when he thinks his best feature is his left ear, or for a girl to boast about her symmetrically arched eyebrows, but this really works. The trick is to think positively about your best features all the time, convincing yourself that your good parts are what everyone notices.
Annie Fox also suggests you be a role model by not openly criticizing yourself, and also by complimenting your friends on their appealing personality traits and their physical highlights. This is superb advice that benefits them and you. Doing so not only shows you have the admirable quality of self confidence about your own looks (even if you are sort of faking it), but also flatters your friends. They will like you more, and being liked will boost your own self-esteem.
The free downloaded book also covers relationships, sex, getting along with parents and siblings, resolving conflicts. It includes questions and answers, and references to other helpful books and websites. Check it out, and also visit http://blog.anniefox.com
My wife recently asked me to go with her to see ”Julie and Julia,” and I’m glad she did. It’s an excellent movie based on the book by Julie Powell who prepared every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Julia Child was a giant at six-feet-two with frizzy hair, an ordinary face, and a warbly voice–qualities not likely to bring her fame as an award-winning chef and TV personality. She not only had a passion for cooking, but a lust for life that made her cheerful and likable.
She was married to a shorter man who adored her. Her sister, who was even taller, also married a man much shorter.
Many celebrities lack Hollywood looks, but we begrudgingly credit their success to great talent, an exceptional personality, lucky breaks, or other factors that we don’t share. That doesn’ t mean we can’t succeed and find happiness in our own worlds. Biographies of famous people can still inspire us by showing us the qualities that contributed to their achievments, whether they include ambition, persistence, a can-do attittude, hard work, the willingness to take chances, or the nerve to ask for a job, a date, or the opportunity to try.
“Julie and Julia” is entertaining even if you only eat to live rather than live to eat. The personal stories of Julie Powell and Julia Child are both inspiring. If you watch the movie, pay attention to what makes them–and their husbands–appealing and admirable people.
Girls like cute guys, but do they like cute girls? On the same note, do guys admire handsome men?
I’m generalizing but not stereotyping when I say women are jealous of other women who are attractive. They consider the good-looking girls to be competition, and get angry when the men fawn all over them. “She’s not that great,” they mutter, commenting on her stringy hair, square jaw, or bent baby toe–whatever flaws they see that are invisible to men. Am I wrong? When a lovely lady leaves the room, ask they guys what she was wearing and what color it was. “Huh?” Then ask the women. They notice everything from her ankle bracelet to the way she flipped her hair. And if she eventually gains weight or starts to lose her looks, other women are pleased to see her knocked down a notch.
Pretty women need to be exceptional nice to other women to cultivate their friendship. And if they are TOO friendly with the guys, the wrong ones will ask them out, pursue them, even stalk them.
Men, on the other hand, kind of like having a good-looking guy around to serve as a magnet for women. But handsome men, especially tall ones, are under pressure. They are expected to be good athletes. To be leaders and decision makers. Employers will put them in sales or management positions, but are less tolerant if they fail.
Okay, I know I’m not convincing anyone to feel sorry for the beautiful people of the world. There is no denying they have advantages. But we should not resent them, envy them, or compare ourselves to them. Just be the best we can be with what we have.
photo by rogertikkitovi
As predicted, singing sensation Susan Boyle has been touched up–hair dyed and restyled, eyebrows plucked. According to the Associated Press article I read, fashion experts say she has taken years off her looks. Enough fuss has been made over what’s the right thing to do that she might stop there, but will she? Should she? Will letting her hair grow, her weight drop, and her non-existent wardrobe blossom turn people off?
Personally, I think not. With our global focus on beauty, I have a hunch that most people will be pleased that she has been given a chance to have an overhaul, considering it part of her success story. What woman doesn’t want to look the best she can, short of surgery and starving herself? How can she remain a common villager now that she has been discovered?
First impressions are important, and tend to be visual. We were stunned by the voice that came from an unmarked box, but now that we know what’s inside, we expect some gift wrapping to match it.
