Tag Archives: bullying

A few things I learned about bullies

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Most kids who are bullied have some sort of physical shortcoming or unusual appearance.

Boys who bully do so in a physical way. Girls bully by starting rumors or through other devious acts. One reason is that girls’ frontal lobes develop faster, equipping them to think of ways to hurt others emotionally.

Kids who bully do so because it gives them power and, in some circles, social status. They are often bullied themselves by a parent, step-parent, foster parent, or older sibling.

Student leaders and popular kids can reduce or end bullying by telling the ringleaders to back off. They often don’t out of fear that their own social status will be at risk.

Getting students to be aware of the problems with bullying has some impact initially, but as anti-bullying programs continue, kids find them trite and routine. It has to do with the small universe of thought that they live in, which adults have trouble influencing.

There are many facets to these statements, which summarize a conversation I had today with Bob Patterson, a former training director for Discovery Communications who has spent decades working with teenagers and their issues.

Bullies lose out eventually

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An excellent website about bullying, www.stopbullyingnow.com, states that bullying youth are five times as likely to become adult criminals as non-bullies.

Several people I interviewed for my book “Facing the World” know what became of their primary tormentors. One spent time in a mental hospital. A mean girl lost her scholarship after starting a fight, never went to college, and at age 23 was working as a cashier in a gas station.

Justice? One person told me he was bullied in middle school by someone who would chase him, knock him down, and kick him. Strangely, another bully did the same thing when he was in high school. Now get this: years later, one of them had his leg amputated, and the other is in a wheelchair.

I plan to do some research on what becomes of bullies. On the positive side, do some of them become brave soldiers? Or tough and effective police officers? If anyone has statistics or a story, let me know.