It seems to me that the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, founded in 1969, has not been very effective. Most people are unaware that it exists. There have been periods in history when chunky girls were desirable, but for decades, thin has been in. You would think that acceptance of fat people would outweigh objections since the majority of Americans (68 percent) are overweight, and a third (33.8 percent) are considered obese. However, many of them don’t accept themselves the way they are–not just because of social pressure, but because of their own discomfort in clothes and tight spots like airplane seats, theaters, and booths in some of the places where they like to eat.
Now, with health care reform the issue of the day, we hear that billions of dollars are spent on health issues related to obesity. Add to that the natural preference most people have for for slim, healthy looking men and women, and the super-sized folks are frowned upon like smokers in an elevator. Many heavy people are smart, entertaining, hardworking, fun, kind,and pleasant to be with. They just have to overcome first impressions–and try to lose weight. Everyone knows how difficult that is to do, but it earns admiration and respect and builds self esteem.
Why is it that some people don’t show their face–or a clear picture of it–on Facebook? Or on LinkedIn or other social media sites? Doesn’t it disappoint you when you can’t tell what a person really looks like?
Let’s face it: People want to see your face, and you want to see theirs. If someone catches your eye because of his or her clothes, hair or body, you eventually want to see the person’s face. Right? Faces and their expressions communicate. Even little babies stare at faces, and smile back at smiling faces. Women spent a fortune on cosmetics to make their faces look better, which is okay, as long as they decorate it and not disguise it. Our face is the most identifying and unique tag that each of us has, so let it show, especially if you are on social media to be social.
albubba
BiOstar
Scott Rosen was born with a deformed left foot that didn’t grow as the rest of his body did. Other kids made fun of him, and he couldn’t participate in sports. He had opportunities to go to a summer camp that didn’t focus on athletics, but he was afraid, and stayed home. Finally, at age 13, which is old for a first-time camper, he decided to go.
During the get-to-know-you session, something compelled him to announce that his left foot was four sizes smaller than his right foot. After a moment of silence, one camper asked if they could see it. To his surprise, they thought it was fascinating, even cool. It made him special, not odd.
“I came out of my shell and became comfortable with who I was,” Scott says. “I developed a level of self-esteem and self-confidence.”
The story gets better. He continued to spend summers at the camp, becoming a counselor and eventually working with the campers who had developmental disorders. He helped develop a vocational program for older kids with special needs. It inspired him to get a degree in special education, which he now teaches at a high school in St. Louis. During the summers, he is still involved with the camp.
Making the decision to go to camp did more than influence his career choice. It was there that he met the girl who is now his wife and the mother of their two children.
Going to camp was a risk for him, but if he didn’t take the chance, Scott says he doesn’t know where he would be today.
By we, I mean men and women. The reasons could fill a size 38D, but women are more concerned about breast size and shape than men are. According to a survey of 52,227 adults by UCLA and Cal State Los Angeles, 70 percent of women said they were dissatisfied with their breasts, whereas only 44 percent of men said they were dissatisfied with their partner’s breasts.
So what do women do about it? The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says breast augmentation is the most common cosmetic surgery procedure, estimating 300,000 a year. Considering the number of women in the country, that’s not very many. Most women prefer to remain natural. Learn more in Psychology Today.
However, millions of women wear padded bras or other intimate apparel (great euphemism) that accentuates their breasts. Very deceptive, I would say, but so what? If it makes women feel better about themselves, and it adds to men’s scenery, that’s no so bad. The few men who discover the truth aren’t going to care much, once they overcome the initial surprise. If they do make a fuss, they need to reassess what’s important to them.
In an effort to help women lighten up over their concerns, there is a new play called “The D-cup Diatribes” that addresses the advantages and disadvantages of breast size, enhancement and reduction, mother-daugher issues, and male marketing agendas.
Photo by Mystic Boer
Years ago, as the head of the PR department for a large corporation, I had a woman on my staff who was smart, pleasant and capable. She was also obese, had long greasy hair, did not wear make up, and had body odor. One day she asked me why I never sent her on business trips. I closed the door and reminded her that our PR department represented the company, which sold personal care products! We had a talk about first impressions. She explained she had financial problems, uncontrollable weight, and too many family members using one bathroom. I sympathized, but told her that even her fellow employees would respect her more if made some improvements and displayed more self-respect. It was a painful discussion.
She cut her hair short and started wearing make-up and nail polish. She bought a new outfit. That was about the best she could do, but she tried, and I believe it made a difference. Nevertheless, I think she resented my candor with her, and the fact that I never did send her on a business trip.
I still believe I did the right thing. What do you think?
If you feel you are just average looking, you’re right at home with 66% of the population. Would you feel even better about yourself knowing that 17% of the population is either unattractive or very unattractive? Don’t feel terrible if you aren’t beautiful–only 2% of people are considered truly gorgeous. That leaves 15% who are categorized as very attractive, but they are still in the minority.
These statistics are from the book “Appearance Is Everything,” by Steve Jeffes. Despite the title, Jeffes writes that no matter what you look like, you will do well if you believe in yourself, maintain your self-worth, and work at achieving your goals. It’s true. Look around you; most people just go about their business.
Jeffes’ figure of 17% beautiful or very attractive is supported by a shallow dating site called Beautiful People. It only accepts handsome studs and cute babes, based on the votes of existing members viewing submitted photos. In October 2009, they accepted only 360,000 people out of 1,860,000 love-seeking applicants worldwide. That’s slightly more than 19%. Yet, apparently ALL 1,860,000 men and women felt they look great enough to be among the chosen.
Looks are subjective. I think everyone in this photo is average looking. Do you see a guy or girl you would place in a higher category?
Photo by m.a.x.
