People who tease, bully or ignore others because of their appearance should instead show compassion.
As difficult as it may seem, the people who are being teased, bullied or ignored should show compassion for their tormentors. Everyone–especially troublemakers–have troubles of their own, and if you knew what they were, you might understand their unkind behavior.
We all tend to be in our own worlds dealing with our own issues, but if we have compassion for others and let them know it, they appreciate it. Understanding, sympathizing and helping others can not only win their friendship, but reduce our concern for our own woes.
You don’t hear the word compassion very often. It’s the basis of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” You don’t hear the golden rule very often either, but quess what? It is the central principle of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. For some reason, organized religion isn’t getting the word across.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu and religious writer Karen Armstrong have launched a global call to action for individuals and nations to exercise compassion. Read The Charter for Compassion. It makes sense, but don’t wait for everyone else to get on board.
My wife and I were having dinner with three other couples, all of us over the age of 50. The topic of advice versus constructive criticism came up, and I said no matter what you call it, when it is directed at me, I take it into consideration. They seemed surprised. I said I’m always trying to improve myself. One friend remarked, “When is it going to show?” We all laughed, and the topic changed.
Later, I wondered why they all thought my willingness to accept advice and criticism was strange. I’m guessing two reasons. First, many people don’t believe that self-help programs and books really work. Secondly, by a certain age, we are who we are, and to try to change is a sign of insecurity and lack of self-esteem. I disagree, and posted some thoughts on this in my April 30 blog, “Be Yourself. Bad advice?” What do you think?
Girls like cute guys, but do they like cute girls? On the same note, do guys admire handsome men?
I’m generalizing but not stereotyping when I say women are jealous of other women who are attractive. They consider the good-looking girls to be competition, and get angry when the men fawn all over them. “She’s not that great,” they mutter, commenting on her stringy hair, square jaw, or bent baby toe–whatever flaws they see that are invisible to men. Am I wrong? When a lovely lady leaves the room, ask they guys what she was wearing and what color it was. “Huh?” Then ask the women. They notice everything from her ankle bracelet to the way she flipped her hair. And if she eventually gains weight or starts to lose her looks, other women are pleased to see her knocked down a notch.
Pretty women need to be exceptional nice to other women to cultivate their friendship. And if they are TOO friendly with the guys, the wrong ones will ask them out, pursue them, even stalk them.
Men, on the other hand, kind of like having a good-looking guy around to serve as a magnet for women. But handsome men, especially tall ones, are under pressure. They are expected to be good athletes. To be leaders and decision makers. Employers will put them in sales or management positions, but are less tolerant if they fail.
Okay, I know I’m not convincing anyone to feel sorry for the beautiful people of the world. There is no denying they have advantages. But we should not resent them, envy them, or compare ourselves to them. Just be the best we can be with what we have.
photo by rogertikkitovi
