There are heavy people who like other heavy people. Some skinny guys like fat girls, and some slender girls like fat men. They are sometimes referred to as Chubby Chasers, but social scientists more kindly refer to them as Fat Admirers (FAs). Since mainstream society favors the mannequin look, lovers of the overweight might be considered abnormal. Fat fetishes are a reality, but many normal people genuinely prefer to be smothered with love by someone without pointy elbows.
This is a good thing. Fat people outnumber skinny people in this country, which increases the odds of them finding a partner. Also, studies show that male Fat Admirers find a wider range of body sizes attractive than do other men, which increases the odds of finding someone to date, love, marry, or just sit around with and chew the fat.
If you are interested, there are a number of dating websites for Chubby Chasers. Since I’m not familiar with them, I’m not going to provide a link to one. You can search for them on the Internet, but like any dating site, be wary of the feeders (people who want you to get even fatter) and the usual assortment of weirdos.
Romantic comedies targeting 18-35 year-olds are invariably raunchy, sexy and overloaded with F-Bombs, but I find most of them hilarious and, more importantly, concluding with a important message that I hope isn’t lost in the muck of rudeness, incivility, and dysfunctional behavior. In “She’s Out of My League,” adorable Alice Eve develops a liking for Jay Baruchel who plays a scrawny quasi-nerd. His friends and annoying family reinforce his own belief that she is way too good for him. In the end, his cruelist friend becomes enlighted, discovering that a total babe like Alice can actually overcome Jay’s physical shortcomings and find him attractive because, well, he’s a really nice guy with a sense of humor and humanity.
It’s the ancient formula–boy wins girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back–but it’s refreshing to see his all his friends, family members and other uncouth clowns pleased that the two are meant for each other. I know that crassness of the movie is intentionally outrageous just to get a laugh, and much of it is funny, but if you try to duplicate it at home, you’re going to get smacked.
When you talk to and listen to someone, do you look him or her in the eye? Fifty percent of people say they don’t, focusing on the other person’s mouth or nose or anywhere but the eyes. Why? According to the book “The Human Face,” we hold each other’s gaze for about three seconds at a time. Any longer makes both parties uncomfortable. Is it too intimate? Flirtatious? Or just attentive? Depends on who you are conversing with. In any case, if you want to really connect with someone, go eye to eye.
Notice in the movies that couples in romantic scenes do it all the time. However, ”The Human Face” says prolonged eye contact indicates that one of two things is about to happen–the two people are either about to make love…or fight!
By we, I mean men and women. The reasons could fill a size 38D, but women are more concerned about breast size and shape than men are. According to a survey of 52,227 adults by UCLA and Cal State Los Angeles, 70 percent of women said they were dissatisfied with their breasts, whereas only 44 percent of men said they were dissatisfied with their partner’s breasts.
So what do women do about it? The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says breast augmentation is the most common cosmetic surgery procedure, estimating 300,000 a year. Considering the number of women in the country, that’s not very many. Most women prefer to remain natural. Learn more in Psychology Today.
However, millions of women wear padded bras or other intimate apparel (great euphemism) that accentuates their breasts. Very deceptive, I would say, but so what? If it makes women feel better about themselves, and it adds to men’s scenery, that’s no so bad. The few men who discover the truth aren’t going to care much, once they overcome the initial surprise. If they do make a fuss, they need to reassess what’s important to them.
In an effort to help women lighten up over their concerns, there is a new play called “The D-cup Diatribes” that addresses the advantages and disadvantages of breast size, enhancement and reduction, mother-daugher issues, and male marketing agendas.
Photo by Mystic Boer
Halloween is a fun day to dress up like somebody or something other than who you are. The options abound, but it seems boys who really want get into the true ghoulish spirit of Halloween choose to be monsters or freaks, whereas girls opt to be princesses or beauty queens, even at adult costume parties. You will see an occasional Superman, but more likely the Incredible Hulk. Or a fireman, but more often something like a burn victim. Among the girls there can be wicked witches, but they are definitely in the minority. I scanned a couple hundred stock photos of people in costumes, only to find plenty of evidence that supports my assumption.
The emphasis on beauty is nothing new. Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) claimed that “Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.”
Helen of Troy, who represented the power of beauty, possessed “the face that launched a thousand ships.” Kidnapped repeatedly, she seemed oblivious to all the fuss made over her. Nothing much was written about her personality, as if it didn’t matter.
In the eighteen century, American women washed themselves in the urine of young boys in an attempt to erase their freckles.
Americans spend more money each year on beauty enhancements than they do on education.
According to a 2003 study in the U.K., a woman’s face is most beautiful and alluring when she is ovulating. Another study claims that women prefer masculine-looking men when they are ovulating, but other times of the month prefer men with softer features that symbolize social and caring behavior.
These tidbits are from “
Looks,” a book by Gordon L. Patzer, Ph.D.
Photo by RobW
Most people discontent with the way they look tend to compare themselves with movie stars, models, or the best looking people they know. Big mistake. Physically beautiful people are rare. Just look around you! As for models and movie stars, they work hard at looking good, and photographers for tabloids like the National Enquirer often capture them looking like the rest of us as they push their baby buggies or head for the grocery store.
Los Angeles has more cosmetic surgeons per capita than any other U.S. city, but their creative skills do not guarantee their clients success. Fake boobs, for example, have not made Pamela Anderson a box-office bonanza. The most successful actresses don’t even bother with padding, such as Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Keira Knightly, Meryl Streep, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, and Natalie Portman. As for overall looks, the best you might call some of them is “interesting.”
Photo of Natalie Portman
