There are heavy people who like other heavy people. Some skinny guys like fat girls, and some slender girls like fat men. They are sometimes referred to as Chubby Chasers, but social scientists more kindly refer to them as Fat Admirers (FAs). Since mainstream society favors the mannequin look, lovers of the overweight might be considered abnormal. Fat fetishes are a reality, but many normal people genuinely prefer to be smothered with love by someone without pointy elbows.
This is a good thing. Fat people outnumber skinny people in this country, which increases the odds of them finding a partner. Also, studies show that male Fat Admirers find a wider range of body sizes attractive than do other men, which increases the odds of finding someone to date, love, marry, or just sit around with and chew the fat.
If you are interested, there are a number of dating websites for Chubby Chasers. Since I’m not familiar with them, I’m not going to provide a link to one. You can search for them on the Internet, but like any dating site, be wary of the feeders (people who want you to get even fatter) and the usual assortment of weirdos.
It seems to me that every kid has something going for him or her. Maybe not good looks, and maybe not brains, but some quality that eventually gets them somewhere in life. It might be an interest in books, a hobby, music, a sport, art, fashion, mechanics, computers, or any number of things. They pursue it, or a parent or teacher or a friend encourages them, and it leads to a career. Or they just fall into a profession.
Take Hugh Simpson. He was picked on from first grade through high school. He was chubby and wore nerdy glasses, but also annoyed other kids and teachers with his hyperactivity and incessant talking. Yet, it was his big mouth that launched his career.
He worked at a record store while in junior college, and the owner told him he had a good voice for radio. He applied for a job as a weekend disc jockey and was hired. Later they had him interview people for the news, including a TV newscaster who talked him into reading the news on TV. By then he wore contacts and looked the part, having lost 50 pounds during a bout with mono. He eventually became a TV producer and a successful publicist for businesses and celebrities.
Someone else helped change his life. A friend convinced him to take up running, a good way to deal with his hyperactivity. By the age of 42, the former fat kid was participating in triathlons.
Photo: Jouneythroughhappiness
Annie Fox is a former teacher who has dedicated herself to helping kids, tweens and teenagers enjoy their youth by dealing with the many issues they confront. On her website, www.anniefox.com, you can download one of her books, “The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating.” Regarding every young person’s concern about their looks, she advises, “Every time you have the urge to be self-critical about your face or body, remember your good points instead.”
I know it is hard for a guy to become confident when he thinks his best feature is his left ear, or for a girl to boast about her symmetrically arched eyebrows, but this really works. The trick is to think positively about your best features all the time, convincing yourself that your good parts are what everyone notices.
Annie Fox also suggests you be a role model by not openly criticizing yourself, and also by complimenting your friends on their appealing personality traits and their physical highlights. This is superb advice that benefits them and you. Doing so not only shows you have the admirable quality of self confidence about your own looks (even if you are sort of faking it), but also flatters your friends. They will like you more, and being liked will boost your own self-esteem.
The free downloaded book also covers relationships, sex, getting along with parents and siblings, resolving conflicts. It includes questions and answers, and references to other helpful books and websites. Check it out, and also visit http://blog.anniefox.com
Crystal Renn was about a size 12 teenager when she was told she could be a successful model if she lost weight. She shed the pounds and became a sought after model. But after several years of starvation, bulimia, drugs and health issues, she ate what she wanted and returned to size 12, which she believes is her genetically determined size–and the size of the average American woman. Her career tumbled, but soon she became one of the top plus-sized models in the world, and still is. In her recently released autobiography, Hungry, she says she is now a normal, happy, more relaxed person:
“When I was straight-sized, I’d be in and out of castings in five minutes. Now that I looked and behaved like a completely different person, casting directors kept talking to me. I was confident and charismatic, animated, funny. I would ask casting directors about themselves, which is unusual for models on calls. I was newly expansive. I’d express opinions. I was everything as a plus model that I hadn’t been as a meek, spacey, straight-size model.”
Her advice in a nutshell: embrace who you are.
Turning a lemon into lemonade. Converting a weakness into a strength. Making the best out of what you have. People do it, including these four whose full stories will appear in my book, “Facing the World.”
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When Susan Suruda was 14, she was six-feet tall, weighted less than 100 pounds, had braces and wore glasses. By the time she was a junior in high school, she was a fashion model. Now a successful singer and songwriter, she still models from time to time. Susan in a Betsey Johnson dress.
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Food made Ed “Cookie” Jarvis famous, but not as a chef. He weighed 385 pounds in high school, but he never played football. He entered eating contests, and today he holds more than 30 world eating records. He has a success business and a happy marriage. “Cookie” with Jay Leno.
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Stephanie Sack was always a big girl. She lost weight from time to time, but gained it back. She loved fashion, but could never find anything at any of the chic stores that fit her. So, at 28, she opened Vive la Femme, a clothing store in Chicago specializing in stylish clothes in sizes 12 to 24. She tells customers that accepting their weight is less frightening and energy consuming than denying it.
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At 14, an accident burned Kylie Williams, leaving embarrassing scars on her face. She was teased and ridiculed all through high school, but it didn’t stop her from pursing and becoming valedictorian. Her scars healed, and she eventually became Miss Florida 2007 and traveled the country giving inspirational speeches to burn victims and their families.
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In a recent survey, half of the women surveyed did not like their weight, but only a third said that they didn’t like their physical condition (health).
Only 8 percent said they ate the minimum recommended servings of fruit and vegetables (five a day). About 28 percent said they ate that much fruit and vegetables once a week or less.
The survey was conducted by the Associated Presss-iVillage, and invovled 1,000 adult women. That doesn’t sound like many, but believe or not, that is considered enough to represent a national poll.
More evidence of the obsession: When this study was reported in an 1/4-page article in the Chicago Sun-Times on May 12, a later edition said it was the most read article in the paper that day.
Photo by TeeRich
